Patience

At the moment, I am not very fond of that word. Not that I am ever excited to be patient or to wait, but now as we await the arrival of our second child, I like it even less. With our sinful nature, patience does not come naturally (although some do struggle more with it than others). It says over and over again in the bible to have patience and to wait on the Lord (Romans 12:12, Psalm 37:7-9, Romans 8:25...). There are countless verses and if you want an example in an adorable 15 month old, come and spend the day with my daughter. There is no question about it, patience is something that we need to learn. However, it is not easy to learn.

Being a mom (and the waiting process up until that point) has definitely challenged me to be more patient. My due date is still a week away but I have been impatient for the last two weeks already. As the discomfort grows (as with my belly) it has been easy for me to rationalize my impatience. That it is understandable and I get a free pass when it comes to pregnancy. And the thing is, pretty much everyone that I talk with about it, are ok with it. I realize that some situations are more difficult or challenging than others (waiting for delivery not being very high on the list). However in my impatience, I have not been putting my trust in Christ. I have not really been believing that He has the best plan for me. I have been attempting to take control of the situation, at times even being frustrated with God. To put it plainly, I have been sinning. I don't want to rationalize my behavior. I need to be giving this over to God, no matter how I might feel in the moment. I don't know why, but we as Christians will pretend as if certain sins are acceptable but that is definitely not the truth. And I for one do not want to be living in sin, allowing the enemy to convince me that I am doing nothing wrong. I have and will continue to give this over to God, if the baby comes tonight, or if the baby doesn't come for three weeks yet. It isn't always easy but I know it is well worth it and will be way better in the long run.